A Manchester United staff member complained about a tweet at the weekend that they were certain to finish below Aston Villa in the Premier League table.
Almost lost in the fallout of Villa’s collapse against Chelsea is they are assured of ending the campaign above United for the first time since 1990. That is an undeniable achievement when their incumbent coach was appointed less than 18 months ago with Villa in 16th.
Villa Park seems certain to host European Cup football for the first time in 41 years. Villa have been wobbling but Tottenham, fifth, are prone to bottling.
Then there is the afterthought that is United. Having begun the season in the Champions League, their expectations have been scaled back to merely qualifying for Europe. Their league campaign was a write-off weeks ago and the only question that remains is whether they will be in the draw for the Europa League or the Conference League.
United privately admit that they are now bracketed with Villa, Tottenham and Newcastle. Publicly, they daren’t make such a galling admission.
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Villa’s only trophy in the last 40 years was the League Cup in 1996 when it was the Coca-Cola Cup. Tottenham have lifted two League Cups in 30 years when the competition was sponsored by Worthington and then Carling. Newcastle last paraded a major trophy on the Tyne when Harold Wilson was the prime minister.
This is the company United now keep. Less than 12 months ago, they ended the season above Liverpool. Now they are closer to Everton, points-wise.
Erik ten Hag claims United are entertaining and he is right. For all the wrong reasons. United have conceded 18 goals in the 80th minute and beyond in their 90-minute matches. They snatch defeats or draws from the jaws of victory through careless game management.
In the club spin following the FA Cup semi-final, United staff cited the lucklessness of a deflected goal and a dubious penalty. It overlooked the fact United spectacularly chucked away a winning position in the capital at Chelsea only a fortnight earlier.
There was also Galatasaray (twice), Copenhagen, Brentford, Liverpool in the league and now Burnley. They at least rallied against 18th-placed League Two outfit Newport to eventually put them to the sword 4-2.
United are entertaining primarily for opposition supporters. The Match of the Day clip of Ten Hag’s “exciting and dynamic” clip was retweeted 110 times and quote-tweeted 1,000 times.
Ten Hag is changing and it is doing more harm than good. He is lingering by the tunnel to milk the applause to give the illusion he has unconditional backing. That backfired when he hooked Kobbie Mainoo against Burnley to the soundtrack of boos. There were more at full-time. This was an awkward conclusion to a week where United attempted to censor negative opinions.
Last season, Ten Hag was often constructively critical in victory. That was refreshing as he strove to raise the standards. Since he was effectively placed on trial by Ineos, he has favoured forced - and false - positivity. Even Ange Postecoglou rebuked a Tottenham cheerleader for looking on the bright side of life after defeat to West Ham.
Ten Hag's maxim used to be "good is not good enough" and he never says that any more. He is not acting or sounding like a United manager when last season he chimed frequently with the matchgoers.
There are more hasty script rewrites than on a Hollywood set during a writers’ strike. At the weekend, Ten Hag was advised to draw parallels with United’s transitional period in 2004-05.
United had two elite youngsters in Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney. Now they have Alejandro Garnacho and Kobbie Mainoo. There was upheaval at hierarchical level as the Glazers closed in on their toxic takeover. Now Ineos are calling the shots. The next season, Roy Keane and Ruud van Nistelrooy were ruthlessly moved on by Sir Alex Ferguson. A change of scenery is required for Marcus Rashford and Jadon Sancho.
Only United were champions two years earlier and they were in the Champions League every year. In the 2000s, they had two trophyless campaigns but a militant faction lobbied for Ferguson to go in 2005-06. The standards were sky-high and they were holding United to account.
Now they are below Villa.
